Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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