I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
