he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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