Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
