last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
