She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
