Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
