So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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