do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
