Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i think my cat just said my name.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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