Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
