I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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