Welp...herpes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
