How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize