Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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