Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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