she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
