just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
