brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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