at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
