i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize