Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What a dumb baby whore.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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