forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
