No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
