OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
