Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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