You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
