I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
