turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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