My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
