Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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