Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
