He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
