Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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