i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
