I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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