I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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