i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
