You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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