He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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