You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
