I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
