Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She even gives head with a lisp.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize