that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
