Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
