The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
