Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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