That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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