so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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