Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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