she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
