i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
