so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize