whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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