Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
