Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
