the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
