You smell like stripper and shame
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
is that a dick in a sweater?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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