His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
