epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
