I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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