Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
