he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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