do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
