Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize