He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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