Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
