i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize