i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
