I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
