He is an equal opportunity slut.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
