Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
