Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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